Episode 17
Letting Go: The Surprising Secret to Conception Success
Navigating the emotional and psychological landscape of fertility challenges doesn’t have to feel like an uphill battle. That’s where fertility coach Becky Ackerman comes in, sharing her candid experiences and insights from her own journey through infertility. With a focus on stress management and a positive mindset, Becky emphasizes the importance of taking ownership of one's fertility experience and exploring alternative therapies that can make a significant difference. We dive deep into the complexities of shame, the critical role partners play, and the societal pressures that often weigh heavily on those trying to conceive. This conversation is a vital resource for anyone facing similar struggles, filled with encouragement and practical advice to help lighten the load.
Fertility challenges can feel like a never-ending rollercoaster, but in this episode, we sit down with fertility coach Becky Ackerman, who really gets it. Becky opens up about her own journey through infertility, which she navigated two decades ago when resources were scarce and the conversation around it even scarcer. She shares how she fought against the tide of stress and negative thinking, emphasizing that mindset plays a crucial role in the fertility journey. It's not just about the eggs and the science—it's about how you feel. Becky dives into the importance of managing stress, the sometimes surprising benefits of alternative therapies, and the significance of taking control of your own experience. She talks about the emotional weight of shame and guilt that often accompanies fertility struggles, and how partners can sometimes feel lost in the mix. This episode is a treasure trove of insights for anyone feeling isolated in their journey, reminding us that taking ownership of our story can lead to empowerment and healing. Plus, there's a light-hearted exchange about the weirdness of social media during this journey, and Becky’s advice is refreshingly candid. Whether you're knee-deep in treatments or just starting to explore your options, this conversation isn't just a resource; it's a lifeline.
Navigating the turbulent waters of fertility can feel like an uphill battle, and in this episode, we welcome Becky Ackerman, a fertility coach who brings both expertise and empathy to the table. As she shares her personal saga of infertility, Becky reveals how the landscape of resources has evolved over the past twenty years, highlighting the critical role of emotional support and mindset in the process. We explore the ins and outs of stress management—because let's face it, stress is like that uninvited guest that shows up at every fertility appointment. Becky’s approach isn’t just about the medical side of things; she advocates for exploring alternative therapies, which she credits with helping her transform her experience and ultimately find success. The conversation digs deep into the shame and guilt often felt by those undergoing fertility challenges, alongside the unique perspectives of partners who may feel sidelined in the emotional rollercoaster. By the end of the episode, listeners will find themselves equipped with actionable insights and a sense of community, knowing they’re not alone in the struggle.
In a candid and heartfelt conversation, we chat with Becky Ackerman, a fertility coach with a personal story that resonates with many. From her own trials with infertility to her current role helping others, Becky sheds light on the emotional and psychological complexities tied to the journey of conception. She illustrates how vital it is to manage stress and maintain a positive mindset, especially when the path to parenthood seems rocky. Becky offers practical advice about alternative therapies that can complement traditional methods, emphasizing that taking charge of one’s experience is empowering. We touch on sensitive topics like the feelings of shame and guilt that can cloud the journey, and how partners often navigate this landscape differently. With humor and warmth, Becky encourages listeners to let go of the pressure surrounding their fertility journey and to embrace the possibility of a fulfilling life, regardless of the outcome. This episode serves as a reminder that while the road may be fraught with challenges, there’s always room for hope, community, and personal growth.
Takeaways:
- Becky Ackerman emphasizes that stress management is crucial in the fertility journey, impacting both emotional well-being and potential outcomes.
- During her journey, Becky discovered that alternative therapies like acupuncture and hypnosis can significantly help in reducing stress and enhancing fertility.
- The conversation highlights the importance of taking control of one's fertility experience, advocating for personal agency over medical protocols.
- Shame and guilt often accompany fertility struggles, but addressing these feelings is vital for emotional healing and support.
- Becky shares that letting go of rigid expectations about parenthood can ironically increase chances of success and improve overall mental health.
- Partners play a significant role in the fertility process, yet their emotional experiences often go unrecognized, necessitating open dialogue and support.
You can reach out to Becky via email: becky@lilyandbeefertility.com
Transcript
And welcome to I think I'm frozen now.
Speaker A:I'm frozen.
Speaker B:There you go.
Speaker B:Now you're back.
Speaker A:I'm back.
Speaker A:Welcome to How I Ally.
Speaker A:I'm Lucinda Koza, and my guest here today is going to introduce herself and give a bit of a backstory.
Speaker B:Hey, everybody.
Speaker B:Hi, Lucinda.
Speaker B:Thank you so much for having me.
Speaker B:My name is Becky Ackerman and I am a fertility coach, which in a nutshell means I am extra support and extra tools for women who are struggling to get pregnant.
Speaker B:And I came to this after I myself had a very difficult time conceiving my first child and a little bit again with my second.
Speaker B:But one of the things that I really realized was that there aren't a lot of resources.
Speaker B:And, and I'll just say that this, it's so much better now than it was when I started my journey, which has now been close to 20 years ago.
Speaker B:So it's much, much better.
Speaker B:But there wasn't anything and people really didn't talk about it back then.
Speaker B:And it was this horribly embarrassing, really upsetting thing to go through.
Speaker B:Essentially, I felt on my own.
Speaker B:My husband was wonderful, is wonderful, but frequently our partners don't quite feel it in the same way on the same level.
Speaker B:They don't have the bandwidth for the conversation that just continually comes out of you.
Speaker B:And.
Speaker B:And another big thing that I learned that really helped me and got me to that first baby was that stress levels matter, stress matters, mindset matters, your negative thoughts, all of that, it all makes a difference.
Speaker B:And so getting that piece under control, even if it's not the silver bullet that gets you to your baby, it will 100% be the thing that helps you feel better and help you manage the journey better so that you're able to keep going.
Speaker A:Absolutely.
Speaker A:I would agree with that from my personal experience, but it took me a very long time to get there.
Speaker A:Do you feel like that's what got you there?
Speaker B:That's what got me to my baby.
Speaker B:I had, after five and a half years of struggling and lots and lots of failed rounds of iui, we never went on to ivf, But I took a break.
Speaker B:And when I came back from that break, I said, okay, I'm doing this very differently.
Speaker B:And I went out and I tried a Mayan massage therapist for abdominal massage.
Speaker B:I found a hypnosis practitioner and I started doing acupuncture.
Speaker B:And it was for sure the, the relaxation, because I can tell you that I am sort of a high stress, high strung individual.
Speaker B:And I am one of those, work hard, try hard, study Hard, you know, do all the things which a lot of women are.
Speaker B:It's really, really common.
Speaker B:That's what we've been taught.
Speaker B:And it works really well when it comes to school.
Speaker B:School and when it comes to your job.
Speaker B:But it is the absolute opposite of really what you need when you're trying to get pregnant.
Speaker B:And so, you know, I was 100% blind to that until I had a moment of, well, I.
Speaker B:I've tried everything else, so I'm gonna give this a shot.
Speaker B:And then it worked.
Speaker B:And it was like, oh.
Speaker B:And then it was really with my second kid that it finally hit home and was like, yeah, this is the part that.
Speaker B:That we're not focusing on, that we really need to be spending more time on.
Speaker A:So that's something that you did on your own.
Speaker A:Did you discuss that with anyone?
Speaker A:Obviously you didn't have a coach.
Speaker B:So I'll tell you that when we.
Speaker B:When I left the fertility clinic, I actually left the one that I was seeing because we were moving.
Speaker B:We'd been living in Puerto Rico and we were moving up to New York.
Speaker B:And so I said, well, this is a great moment to just walk away for a little bit.
Speaker B:And I didn't know what I was going to do.
Speaker B:The doctor, you know, on our last appointment, he was like, you'll come back to this eventually.
Speaker B:Like, you for sure will.
Speaker B:Everybody always does, you know, take a break and then come back.
Speaker B:But I kind of in my head was like, I really don't want to.
Speaker B:Like, I've had enough of this.
Speaker B:I don't like it.
Speaker B:It's not doing anything for me.
Speaker B:And I'm.
Speaker B:If this is what it's going to take, I don't think I'm in.
Speaker B:And, you know, a couple of weeks after we moved, I went to the library to get a library card.
Speaker B:And I kid you not, like, sitting on one of the end caps right as I walked in was a book called something like Hypnosis for Infertility.
Speaker B:And I was like, well, that feels like a sign.
Speaker B:And so I got the book, and I can tell you 100% that I hid it from my husband.
Speaker B:Because I was like, I don't know what he's gonna have to say about this, because, you know, at the time and even still today, you say hypnosis to somebody and they're like, that's a little bit woo.
Speaker B:And way out there, even though.
Speaker B:Even though it's really not.
Speaker B:But, you know, I came home, read the whole book and was like, I'm sold.
Speaker B:I gotta try this.
Speaker B:And So I found a woman who did it, and she was amazing.
Speaker B:And then while I was doing that, I decided to start seeing an acupuncturist.
Speaker B:And I'm a horrible, horrible needle phobe.
Speaker B:Like, I hate needles in the worst possible way.
Speaker B:And so, I mean, I remember when my mom found out that I was going for acupuncture, her jaw, like, dropped.
Speaker B:She was like, wow, you are.
Speaker B:You are committed now.
Speaker B:I can, like, for sure.
Speaker B:Those things made all the difference.
Speaker B:All the difference, because they was able to help me let go.
Speaker B:I mean, we hold on so tightly.
Speaker A:Yes.
Speaker B:We hold on so tightly to the.
Speaker B:This has to happen for me.
Speaker B:My life isn't going to be.
Speaker B:My life is going to be ruined.
Speaker B:You know, I'm going to be empty and alone and sad, and we just really cling to that.
Speaker B:And it's.
Speaker B:When you're able to actually let that go, as unintuitive as it sounds, that's when things start to turn around and get better.
Speaker A:That is so interesting, because that's.
Speaker A:I had that same feeling of.
Speaker A:I.
Speaker A:It was like, I finally.
Speaker A:I was actually talking to my father at the time.
Speaker A:My father at the time.
Speaker A:My father at that time, I was talking to him, and.
Speaker A:And he said something to me that, to some people, may sound weird, but it like, oh, I'm gonna get emotional.
Speaker A:It just struck a chord.
Speaker A:He.
Speaker A:He said, you know, you don't have to keep doing this if you don't want to.
Speaker A:And to hear that from your dad, it's like.
Speaker B:Wow.
Speaker A:Like, he actually care.
Speaker A:He actually really cares about me.
Speaker A:He's not like, I want a grandchild, you know?
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker A:And.
Speaker A:And it also, like, reminded me of, whoa.
Speaker A:Like, yes, this is my body.
Speaker A:This is my everything.
Speaker A:And I can.
Speaker A:Because it's been a horrible experience so far, full of failure, and.
Speaker A:And I don't think I want to do it again.
Speaker A:And it was like, once I took that ownership, sort of my body of the experience, I was able to relax, I guess I was able to, like, let go of all of the ickiness.
Speaker B:And that ownership is something that does often get lost.
Speaker B:We sort of turn ourselves over to the doctors, and we just sort of blindly.
Speaker B:And I don't say that in a bad way, either about the doctors or about you, the women.
Speaker B:It's just.
Speaker B:It's just what happens.
Speaker B:And so when you can start to take some of that back, you know, it's really important.
Speaker B:That's one of the things that I coach women on.
Speaker B:You've got to ask all your questions.
Speaker B:You've if something doesn't feel right, don't do it.
Speaker B:If you, you know, if you think the doctor's not the one, find another one.
Speaker B:Because I can't tell you how many women I have talked to who are like, yeah, I knew all along he wasn't the right doctor, but he had such good reviews and blah, blah, blah.
Speaker B:And so we were with him for X number of years.
Speaker B:And then I finally switched.
Speaker B:And when I switched, I got pregnant.
Speaker B:It was like, well, I mean, yeah, don't stick in a situation that is less than ideal for you just because you've heard great things or your friends all got pregnant with the same doctor.
Speaker B:It doesn't matter.
Speaker B:It's more about how you feel.
Speaker B:If you are not comfortable, your chances of success are going to be lower.
Speaker A:Do you come across women who feel a level of shame or guilt?
Speaker B:Yeah, all of it.
Speaker B:All the time.
Speaker B:All the time.
Speaker B:This is the one thing that our bodies are supposed to do.
Speaker B:Like, this is the one thing from the time we're teeny tiny that we know I'm going to grow up and I'm going to have a baby just like my mom did.
Speaker B:And when it doesn't happen, it's a huge, like, what is wrong with me?
Speaker B:What on earth?
Speaker B:And my friends are all having babies, so why.
Speaker B:Why not me?
Speaker B:There must clearly be something wrong with me or I did something once upon a time.
Speaker B:There's a lot of that.
Speaker B:What have I done to deserve this?
Speaker B:I must have done something terrible.
Speaker B:And spoiler alert, ladies, none of those things are true.
Speaker A:Yes.
Speaker A:Gosh, it's awful.
Speaker A:I mean, shame is like the most insidious feeling, I think, because it keeps you from reaching out for support or, you know, it keeps you isolated, and that's hard to work through.
Speaker A:This is the process, like, of working through that.
Speaker B:It's the process of working through.
Speaker B:The shame is really just a lot of conversation and a lot of sort of looking back, like, what did.
Speaker B:What do you.
Speaker B:What do you think you did that's so bad?
Speaker B:And, you know, I get.
Speaker B:I'll tell you that I get a lot of all the drinking I did in college.
Speaker B:I hear that a lot.
Speaker B:And it's like, okay, well, look at your, like, five closest friends who have all gotten pregnant.
Speaker B:What were they doing in college?
Speaker B:You know, so pointing out that it can't possibly hold true because you didn't do anything different than the average person.
Speaker B:You challenge the belief and you look to poke holes in it.
Speaker B:And that's how you slowly change your mindset in terms of the shame.
Speaker A:I.
Speaker A:I'm sure you just.
Speaker A:You make such a difference in so many women's lives, just taking that load off.
Speaker B:I'd like.
Speaker B:I mean, yes, I'd like to think that I do.
Speaker B:I hear good things from my clients, but.
Speaker B:But it is, you know, like I tell people sometimes your partner cannot talk about it anymore.
Speaker B:Often your mother or your father has no idea what to say to you anymore because this is not an experience that they're familiar with.
Speaker B:And when your best friend has just had a baby, neither one of you want to talk to the other about this.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:Sadly.
Speaker B:So that's.
Speaker B:That's where I come in.
Speaker A:Do you ever work with partners or both of them?
Speaker A:Both people or more than two people?
Speaker A:I don't know.
Speaker B:So to this point, I have not.
Speaker B:I've only worked with.
Speaker B:With the woman I've had.
Speaker B:I've had conversations with the women I've worked with.
Speaker B:We have talked a couple of times about bringing their partner in, and then they have made the decision, for whatever reason that they didn't want to.
Speaker B:You know, one of them.
Speaker B:I remember very clearly, one of them said, nope, you're my person.
Speaker B:And so I'm not sharing that.
Speaker B:Which is interesting.
Speaker B:But by and large, no, I do not do couples stuff.
Speaker A:That is really interesting.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker A:I mean, obviously, the woman is the one who is just being poked and prodded.
Speaker A:All of these hormones and then failing and thinking it's completely my fault and the shame and the guilt and.
Speaker A:I mean.
Speaker B:But it's difficult on the other side, too.
Speaker B:It's difficult in different ways for the partner.
Speaker B:You know, What.
Speaker B:What do I say?
Speaker B:What more can I possibly say?
Speaker B:I've said all the things I can think of to say, and it's not enough.
Speaker B:You know, I know that that's an issue.
Speaker B:Then there's the part where, like, so my partner comes at me all the time with all of their stuff, so where am I supposed to go with my stuff?
Speaker B:That's also definitely an issue.
Speaker B:And I know there are coaches out there who do couples stuff, because I would not want to ever minimize the partners part of all of this and their emotional investment and.
Speaker B:And the pain and sadness and all of it that they're also feeling.
Speaker B:But I have just chosen largely because of what my experience was.
Speaker B:You know, we tend to sort of coach what what we know and what we experienced.
Speaker B:And so that's very much what.
Speaker B:What I do.
Speaker A:Well, that's what you're an expert in.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker A:Is what you went through.
Speaker A:So you only ever did.
Speaker A:IUI Is that if.
Speaker A:If I may ask, yes.
Speaker B:So I had endometriosis that was totally asymptomatic, and it took us three years to figure out that that was what was going on.
Speaker B:When we figured it out, we also learned that I had one fallopian tube completely filled with fluid and a fibroid that was not small.
Speaker B:It wasn't enormous, but it was also not small.
Speaker B:And I didn't know about any of these things.
Speaker B:So after we got it all taken care of, everything removed and resolved, it actually happened in two parts.
Speaker B:I had two operations because the first one I didn't.
Speaker B:They didn't take my tube out because I had told my husband, I don't want anything taken out.
Speaker B:And we didn't know because I just had this, you know, horrible vision of like, I'm going to need a hysterectomy, and I don't want that without knowing that I'm having it.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:I mean, that's completely understandable.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:So instead he found a fluid filled fallopian tube and came and asked my husband, can I please just take it out?
Speaker B:And my husband very obediently said, no, you may not.
Speaker B:And so he pinned it, he drained it and he pinned it open, which is a temporary fix.
Speaker B:So after that first surgery, he said, you know, everything's clear, everything's open.
Speaker B:Go try for like three months, and if you're not pregnant, come back and we'll start some iui.
Speaker B:So we did, and nothing happened.
Speaker B:And then we went for the IUI and the first round that we did, I believe that first round was the one where I ovulated spontaneously.
Speaker B:So we missed the trigger shot and we weren't able to actually do the iui.
Speaker B:Then it was during the second round that I was in.
Speaker B:Oh, yeah, it's such good times.
Speaker A:I didn't even.
Speaker A:I've never even heard of that.
Speaker B:Oh, yeah.
Speaker B:Oh, it happens.
Speaker B:So I was back in for the second round, and we were in the middle of monitoring, and he was looking at the screen and he's like sitting there scratching his head like, what?
Speaker B:Oh, yeah, your tube has filled up again.
Speaker B:Then I had to go in for surgery again.
Speaker B:So came out of the second surgery and he said, again, okay, so there's like, there's really no problem now.
Speaker B:It's all been taken out.
Speaker B:But because you only have one tube, it's probably going to be hard for you to get pregnant on your own.
Speaker B:And I really think that I internalized that, despite the fact that I said to him right there in the Recovery room.
Speaker B:We're still going to go try on our own for a little while.
Speaker B:So we did.
Speaker B:We went for about three months again and then we came back to do more iui and it was a big fat nothing.
Speaker B:I mean, I did not respond to the meds in any way.
Speaker B:I never produce anymore than just one egg.
Speaker B:So when we got to the end of the second, maybe even third, I can't, I can't even remember if we did two or three that time.
Speaker B:It turns out that it was exactly at the same moment where we found out we were moving, which lined up really nicely.
Speaker B:Cuz he was like, I think you should move on to ivf.
Speaker B:I just really, for all of the obvious reasons, you know, it's a lot of money and it's not a sure thing, but.
Speaker B:But mostly in my head I was like, but I haven't responded to any of the medications that I've been given so far.
Speaker B:Why I want to just take more.
Speaker B:Just like in my head it didn't make sense to me.
Speaker B:And so I, I said, no, not now.
Speaker B:I'm done.
Speaker B:I wasn't there.
Speaker B:You really have to be there.
Speaker B:Otherwise it's the worst thing.
Speaker B:I mean, it's.
Speaker B:Otherwise take the worst thing ever and make it even worse.
Speaker A:Yes.
Speaker A:The most invasive.
Speaker A:Put your legs in the stirrups.
Speaker A:Metaphorically.
Speaker A:And literally.
Speaker B:And literally.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:So just iui.
Speaker A:It's so much less of a huge deal.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:But it's hard to say no to ivf.
Speaker B:I mean, that's what the fertility doctors are selling.
Speaker B:And again, not a knock on them.
Speaker B:That is their product and that's what they do.
Speaker B:So if you're not totally in it, it doesn't hurt to try a few other things before you get to that point.
Speaker A:I would agree.
Speaker A:Yeah, I did.
Speaker A:I.
Speaker A:I've decided to just include my experience.
Speaker B:Yes, absolutely.
Speaker A:Because my God, why not?
Speaker A:Yeah, Yeah, I.
Speaker A:I did IUI before doing ivf and I just, I needed that.
Speaker A:I needed to do the thing that felt less scary first.
Speaker A:And I feel like because I did rounds of IUI that contributed to actually having success with ivf.
Speaker A:You know, I think all the failures, you know, ultimately helped me get there.
Speaker B:How many rounds of IVF did you end up doing?
Speaker A:3.
Speaker A:And it was the last.
Speaker A:It was right before the last one where I had that talk with my dad and I was like, I'll do this last one because we've already paid for it, but I can't keep doing this.
Speaker A:And like going through all of this and failing, like for years of My life.
Speaker A:And then we were successful.
Speaker A:I mean, it was outrageous.
Speaker A:And I had twins.
Speaker B:Oh, did you really?
Speaker A:Yes, yes.
Speaker B:That's awesome.
Speaker B:It's the two.
Speaker B:It's the bonus, the catch up bonus.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:Right?
Speaker B:That's awesome.
Speaker B:But letting go, I mean, it really.
Speaker B:Man, it just takes a weight off.
Speaker B:If you're able to say to yourself, you know, if you're able to figure out what your life might look like if you don't have children and be excited about that, even as you.
Speaker B:Even as you continue trying to have a child.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:If you can recognize that I am in control, I don't have to do this indefinitely.
Speaker B:I can stop whenever I want.
Speaker B:And if you, if you can let go of those things and the pressure, then, then your chances of succeeding go way up.
Speaker B:I mean, I know nobody likes to talk about the woman who adopted a kid and then immediately gets pregnant, you know, after years of struggle, but it's the same thing.
Speaker B:They've.
Speaker B:They've let go.
Speaker A:Right, right.
Speaker A:It's like Charlotte and Sex in the City.
Speaker A:Oh, I, I'm so sorry for making that reference.
Speaker A:Although I, I fully appreciate Sex in the City, but I also fully, you.
Speaker B:Know, it's, it, look, it's a really painful thing when you see that happen to somebody else, but that's really what it boils down to.
Speaker A:It's the letting go that's so interesting.
Speaker B:And again, it's not going to be the, you know, the magic potion for every woman, but it' but it relieves so much stress that you end up feeling better.
Speaker B:Your mindset shifts once you've made the choice that this is not the end all, be all that I've got a nice life, I've got a good partner, everything will be fine.
Speaker B:It will be different than what I had expected or hoped.
Speaker B:But that doesn't mean it can't still be good.
Speaker A:Absolutely.
Speaker A:I love that.
Speaker A:I love that that is such a cornerstone of your coaching practice.
Speaker B:Yeah, yeah, we.
Speaker B:I talk about that with everybody.
Speaker B:What will your life look like if you don't have a child?
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:Which is not.
Speaker B:It's not a signal that you're giving up.
Speaker B:It's not, it's, you know, it's not a white flag of surrender.
Speaker B:It's just an I know that I've got something in my back pocket if I need it.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:I love that.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:It's important.
Speaker B:It's important and we don't talk about it.
Speaker B:And it's not intuitive to think about it.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:It's not intuitive.
Speaker A:It's it's like what you were talking about before, about being like the good girl, you know, the hard working girl, the high achiever, which so many women are.
Speaker B:Yep.
Speaker B:I'm okay if I pivot.
Speaker B:I'm okay if I don't want to keep doing this to myself just because I said this was what I want four years later, maybe it's not anymore.
Speaker B:And that's okay.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:And I have worth.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:Oh, for sure.
Speaker A:No matter what.
Speaker B:Yeah, no matter what.
Speaker A:I'm a human being and I have worth and I will continue to have worth regardless.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:Regardless.
Speaker A:That's huge.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:It's really important.
Speaker B:It's, you know, I don't know, we're.
Speaker B:It's just so inbred that you're supposed to have a baby and, and I, I get that.
Speaker B:I feel it.
Speaker B:I know it, you know, in my soul.
Speaker B:I know that that's how we all feel.
Speaker B:But somewhere in there we gotta flip it and say, you know, so I don't have a baby.
Speaker B:Whatever.
Speaker B:You know, here I am, here I am and everything's great.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:And it's so, it's, it's such a, it's so complex because this can really kind of be applied to everything.
Speaker B:Yep.
Speaker A:And it's very, it can be very hard to get to, to arrive there.
Speaker A:Like, I mean, just all the things that we deal with in life.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:It's.
Speaker B:We are a competitive bunch, for sure.
Speaker B:We compare ourselves to all our friends.
Speaker B:Social media is a whole fun new aspect of all of this.
Speaker B:That for some women, you know, for some women, it really helps to be able to go on social media and talk about it with others.
Speaker B:And for other women, it is the worst thing possible to, you know, have to get on there and see pictures of, of their friends, babies, or to hear about these stories of how I miraculously got pregnant.
Speaker B:It.
Speaker B:Social media is dreadful.
Speaker B:Personal, Personal opinion.
Speaker B:Social media is dreadful.
Speaker B:Even though, you know, you'll find me on Instagram.
Speaker B:But, but it's hard in today.
Speaker B:It's hard.
Speaker A:Oh, yeah.
Speaker A:Yes.
Speaker B:There's so much pressure.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:There's so much pressure.
Speaker B:And, you know, everything that's going on in the world with women's health and women's rights can make the situation even more stressful than it needs to be.
Speaker A:Absolutely.
Speaker A:Absolutely.
Speaker A:I don't need to take on the weight of the world, just the weight of me.
Speaker A:Please.
Speaker B:Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker B:For sure.
Speaker B:It's tough.
Speaker B:So stress management is really critical when you're trying to have a baby.
Speaker B:It will help you in so many so many different ways, and sometimes it's surprising what can open up for you when you start focusing on that piece.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker A:Beautifully said and the perfect sound bite.
Speaker A:So thank you so much.
Speaker A:Thank you.
Speaker A:You have such a, like, bright disposition, and it's just very.
Speaker A:I'm sure you're really great at your job.
Speaker B:Thanks.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:Thank you.
Speaker A:Thanks for talking with me today.
Speaker B:It has been my pleasure, and I look forward to staying in touch and connecting with anybody out there who wants to chat.
